Add DeKay as a friend to write on their Comment Wall.

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  What did the Buddhist say to the tofu hot dog vendor?

  "Make me one with everything."

  Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a twenty dollar bill. The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.

  The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"

  The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

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  DeKay

  14 days ago

  34114 comments

  I actually still mention www. XD Like double u double u double u. Hahahah!

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
  A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

  Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

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  DeKay

  14 days ago

  34114 comments

  Yes, I found forever alone. Somewhere at the back.

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  DeKay

  14 days ago

  34114 comments

  Haha, I only watch Harry Potter movies. I don't read a lot.

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  DeKay

  14 days ago

  34114 comments

  Muscles are heavier than fats then??!!

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  A manager at Goldman Sachs has this to tell.

  Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

  The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

  He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

  Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

  The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50!

  However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

  In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."

  The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

  Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

  Welcome to 'Goldman Sachs'!

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  @your cat, hopefully. :P
  @boxer, sarcasm?

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  Engineers and Managers
  A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

  The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

  "You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

  "I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

  "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

  The man below says "you must be in management."

  "I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

  "Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  XD
  

  Dear Son,
  I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.
  Love,
  Dad
  
  
  Shortly, the old man received this telegram: ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!’
  
  
  At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
  
  
  Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what had happened, and asked him what to do next.
  
  
  His son’s reply was: ‘Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I could do for you, from here.’

• 

  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  http://withfriendship.com/jokes/america/american-businessman.php

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse!
  Optimist: Yes, it can!

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  Fall was upon a remote reservation when the Indian tribe asked their new Chief what the coming winter was going to be like. The modern day Chief had never been taught the secrets of the ancients. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

  Better safe than sorry, he said to himself and told his tribe that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that the members of the village should stock up on firewood to be prepared.

  After several days, our modern Chief got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

  "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

  So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

  "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

  The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

  "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

  "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

  The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  Okay, last one:

  I came across a girl called Abigail Butterworth, the format for her corporate e-mail address'es was first 4 letters of christian name followed by first 4 letters of surname.
  
  Her e-mail address was abigbutt@xxxx

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  Bane_

  14 days ago

  40976 comments

  These are from Quora.com. Excellent site for all types of topics. You can find every kind of joke, mathematical, engineering, etc. Seeing long texts on your wall gives you goosebumps, right? XD